And so it began. Up and down, side to side, hands on your waist. ''Madam you are not doing this routine properly. I said squat very low'' shouted my trainer, Acho. ''Look you have got to feel the pain. NO PAIN, NO GAIN! Now give me 15 push ups, we have got to get you into shape." O boy eee. "Comon madam, 1..2..3..4..5.. NO PAIN, NO GAIN. 6...! "Bros, please let me rest small abeg. I fit collapse here." I pant. "Okay, take 5" he says.
Dear diary, like I said, I decided to help myself and registered with a maniac in the guise of a fitness coach. You don't know anything. Like Jon Snow you know nothing. If I tell you what I have been going through in the last two weeks you will commiserate. Every morning at 4.30am my phone rings, "madam you have 30 minutes to get to the track. Please don't be late." Omo this losing weight tins no be beans.
Maybe my Oga should have just done a vasectomy like the doctor advised. But if you see how he shouted VA...gini! you would know that was not an option. Selfish man. Na me suffer fit (hiss). Imagine the man claiming he needed his equipment in case I changed my mind tomorrow and ran away with his children. Craze man. So diary, here I find myself being manhandled and harassed into shape at 5am. God dey.
"Okay break over, NO PAIN, NO GAIN" barks Acho. "Next we are going to straighten those flabby tummies, give me 20 sit ups and 20 side crunches, let's go". I groan. The sweat pours down my body. This mad man is drilling me here and Oga is sleeping at home. Life is very unfair. "Good, good" he says, "from tomorrow we will start the 30 days squat challenge, 30 days abdominal challenge, 30 days butt challenge, best butt fitness and leg buttock workout. We will beat this body back into gear" says Acho. Oga must commend me for a job well done." In my mind I curse the two both of them to thy kingdom come.
Dear diary, like I said, I decided to help myself and registered with a maniac in the guise of a fitness coach. You don't know anything. Like Jon Snow you know nothing. If I tell you what I have been going through in the last two weeks you will commiserate. Every morning at 4.30am my phone rings, "madam you have 30 minutes to get to the track. Please don't be late." Omo this losing weight tins no be beans.
Maybe my Oga should have just done a vasectomy like the doctor advised. But if you see how he shouted VA...gini! you would know that was not an option. Selfish man. Na me suffer fit (hiss). Imagine the man claiming he needed his equipment in case I changed my mind tomorrow and ran away with his children. Craze man. So diary, here I find myself being manhandled and harassed into shape at 5am. God dey.
"Okay break over, NO PAIN, NO GAIN" barks Acho. "Next we are going to straighten those flabby tummies, give me 20 sit ups and 20 side crunches, let's go". I groan. The sweat pours down my body. This mad man is drilling me here and Oga is sleeping at home. Life is very unfair. "Good, good" he says, "from tomorrow we will start the 30 days squat challenge, 30 days abdominal challenge, 30 days butt challenge, best butt fitness and leg buttock workout. We will beat this body back into gear" says Acho. Oga must commend me for a job well done." In my mind I curse the two both of them to thy kingdom come.
Lol.....next time you go for workout drag Oga along with you.
ReplyDeleteHehehehe, Belinda you nor go kill me o. Truly, your oga should go with you to keep fit too. Kai, loosing this weight is so hard.
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of vasectomy, our African men nor dey even consider am at all o. When I had my last baby, I was given the option of tying my tubes or my oga doing a vasectomy. Omo, my guy nor even think of am once, talkless of twice.
ReplyDelete