10 REASONS WHY RAPE IS NOT BAD…

Dear Diary, remember those rape stories you hear on the news, you feel sorry for the victims abi, but other times you feel the stories are too contrived and fantastical to be true. I feel that way too.

You just don’t really believe the story the girl is peddling. “I mean comon … she must have been inappropriately dressed”, you think, “it’s not easy to rape a girl jare”, you reason, as if you have ever been in that situation before.“How can  the man overpower her, why didn’t she scream for goodness sake? I don’t believe it”! You conclude. 

Take for instance the trending rape story in the newspapers. The alleged randy Unilag lecturer, Akin Baruwa is accused of raping a Jambite, who was soliciting his help in securing admission. Her father had handed his daughter over to Baruwa, his neighbor lecturer to help her secure admission into the university. The story is now twisted as admission runs has turned into Kirikiri and Ikeja court matter.

In his defense, the accused lecturer who is a husband and father of two is telling the world that it was consensual sexual relations. ‘In fact she came unto me and seduced me’, he said. Hmmmmm… oga lecturer don’t let her father catch you alone in a room. He will physically explain to you that he sent his lamb to you for help not for slaughter. 

Well, I heard the news just like other people and since it was not personal to me I could only feel sorry for the victims from afar. Same goes for the generality of us. We read about sexual assault in articles and watch the news then we shake our heads and go on our business. It’s just the way it is. This has all changed for me though.

I learned recently that the beautiful young daughter of a very close relative of mine had been sexually molested by another family member. It was a situation that made me grieve; my heart ached at the trust that had been abused. Good enough the young girl is receiving counseling; she will begin her journey to recovery surrounded by family.

In most instances, survivors of sexual violation, rarely get justice. What they do get is blame, stigma, shame and fear. Many victims remain silent, sometimes actively aided by family members who are ashamed of the act. They never speak about the crime for fear of reprisal or are convinced no one will believe them.  The Silence of the Lambs (that’s a movie title you know). So their abusers roam free, taunting them, perpetuating more evil on other lambs.

FACTS ABOUT RAPE

1. 1 in 6 women will be assaulted in their lifetime

2. Sexual violence is critically unreported. Many rapists go unprosecuted

3. Survivors suffer from depression/post-traumatic stress disorder for a long time, sometimes a lifetime

4. Many victims suffer from physical and mental injuries; some hide it very well

5. Many victims of sexualized violence live in denial after the assault. Watch this video to get a sense of this  - https://youtu.be/eZhRNPFIP9c

6. More and more innocent children are getting sexually abused today. Boys too. Watch your children like a hawk please. Teach them to speak up.

7. There is a greater chance of a woman getting assaulted by a friend or relative than by a stranger

8. About 2 of 3 sexualized crimes are committed by someone known to the victim

9. Many sexual assault incidents occur in victims’ home, at the home of a friend, relative or neighbor.                  

10.A small percentage of rape is committed with a weapon; almost 80% of rapes are done with the use of physical force.

-          Women need to learn how to defend themselves! To fight back! Diary we will learn how to do this in my next post.

 

 

In conclusion, let us remember that we have wonderful brothers, fathers, uncles, cousins, friends, colleagues, sisters, aunts, neighbors, babysitters, caregivers etc. However, some of these our trusted associates are wolves in sheep’s garb. That is the truth o. Rape happens everywhere in the world.

Since our culture does not encourage that victims speak out, we continue to live in denial and soldier on with our lives until we crash. Silence is deadly. Isolation makes the trauma worse. Honestly, the only way the criminals can pay their debt to their victims and to the society is when they are exposed and prosecuted.

RAPE (sexually molestation, sexual abuse, sexual violation or whatever name you want to call sexualized crime) IS NOT JUST BAD..., IT IS EVIL.

 

Recently, the government published some help lines for people to report abuse and reach for help. 080072732255, 08085753932, 08102678442

You too can help! Be alert to signs of abuse and report it. You most probably will save a life. More especially, support the abused one. Please don’t judge.

*Leave a comment below if you agree.

Belinze